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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  November 20, 2015 11:37pm-12:37am CST

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arcade fire's jeremy gara. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and genemen, seth meyers! >> seth: welcome to "late night," everybody. how are you doing tonight? good to hear. good to hear. i want to start this evening by saying happy veterans day, and give it up for all of our veterans, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for your service. i did something i -- today i do on most veterans days. i found someone in uniform. i shook their hand. and i immediately said, "ow, you are hurting me. [ laughter ] you are hurting my tiny child bones in your firm military hand." [ laughter ] all right, everybody, let's get to the news. today is veterans day. it's days like today that i remember my uncle bob, who fought in korea with a prostitute who had overcharged him. in 2006. [ laughter ] according to several online polls, donald trump was the winner of last night's
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presidential debate. when reached for a comment, trump said, "melania, keep clicking." [ laughter ] trump. trump best. trump. [ light laughter ] according to a time magazine poll, 43% of viewers believe donald trump won last night's debate, and 22% of viewers believe john kasich was at last night's debate. [ laughter ] at the republican presidential debate last night dr. ben carson said people who know him know that he's an honest person. people like his wife, his patients, abraham lincoln, fred flintstone, and the 1977 dallas cowboys. [ cheers and applause ] according to "politico," the new most searched-for phrase associated with jeb bush is, "is jeb bush still running for president?" [ laughter ] even worse it's the most searched-for phrase on jeb bush's computer.
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[ laughter ] hillary clinton this week has begun telling the story of her attempt to join the marines in 1975. but the closest she ever came to the marines was buying a pant suit at old navy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] a new report has found that 5% of women rely on the pull out method as their only means of birth control. [ laughter ] you know, there's a name for those women. they're called moms. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] new jersey governor chris christie yesterday signed a law formally banning beastiality. said one new jersey resident, "oh, man -- i mean, that's great!" [ laughter ] good dog. [ laughter ] new research has found that contrary to popular belief, it could be beneficial for women to
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eat and drink while in labor. though i didn't think the other people in the restaurant would be too happy about it. [ laughter ] a former voice actor for the iconic "charlie brown peanuts" tv special pleaded guilty this week to making criminal threats against a mobile home park manager. he said terrifying things like, "wah wah bwah bwah wah wah." [ laughter ] "what's that? the wah wahs are coming from inside the house?" [ laughter ] and finally, researchers at carnegie mellon and disney have teamed up to develop a smart watch sensor that can identify what object a person is touching. for example, if you're writing, it will know you're holding a pencil. and if you're trying to get the last bit of ketchup out of the bottle it will know that you're masturbating. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen we've got a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] from nbc's "the voice" adam levine is with us this
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evening. [ cheers and applause ] she is the founder and ceo of skinny girl and she is a full delight. bethenny frankel is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and also we will have music from the lovely alessia cara this evening. [ cheers and applause ] allesia cara is joining us. i was very honored last night to perform at an event called stand up for heroes. it is the bob woodruff foundation, which helps wounded veterans, and it's a wonderful event. it was in madison square garden. i got to perform standup. the other people -- ray romano performed, jon stewart, john oliver, and then bruce springsteen came out and played music. so it was a spectacular -- for me, myself personally, i was just very flattered to be a part of it. and such great comedians. ray romano, fantastic. oliver, jon stewart just great. but then after they all killed, bruce springsteen went out. and he just had a guitar and he was singing these wonderful
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songs. but then between each song bruce springsteen would tell a joke. and he murdered harder than any of us! [ laughter ] just destroyed with his jokes. and i was standing with ray romano who said, "you know, it's really -- this isn't fair. [ laughter ] that he's getting laughs like this." because i know you're thinking, oh, well, he's getting extra laughs because people are like "well, that's not what he does for a living. so the fact that he's funny he's getting extra laughs." but ray romano pointed out if between our jokes we had sung songs -- [ laughter ] -- they would have booed us out of the theater. [ laughter ] but an incredible night, an incredible organization. and everybody should check it out. so that was great. [ cheers and applause ] and i was again very honored to be a part of it. also last night, the republican presidential candidates held their fourth debate on the fox business network. after the widely panned cnbc debate two weeks ago which many called a train wreck, the
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moderators' goal this time was essentially to be as boring as possible. and on that front, they totally succeeded. for more on this it's time for "debate wrap up." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: now, you may remember after the last debate, candidates complained for days about the moderators' liberal bias. in fact, the republicans were so focused on perceived media bias that even the wi-fi password in the debate hall was a not so subtle message to reporters. >> the republican national committee found a creative way to force the media to write something negative about hillary clinton. that's because the password to get onto the internet here is "stop hillary." [ laughter ] >> seth: interesting fact. "stop hillary" is also what hillary has written on a post-it stuck to her computer for whenever she's thinking about sending a classified e-mail. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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republicans, on the fax machine there was a sign that said, "stop bernie." [ laughter ] so with all that pressure not to show bias, the moderators openly admitted before the debate that they were quote, "nervous" and that their goal was to be invisible. so invisible, in fact, that they didn't even enforce the time limits themselves. instead they used a bell that let candidates know their time was up. and unsurprisingly, no one cared. >> farm on roughly -- [ bell ringing ] -- 0.2% of the farmland. [ bell ringing ] >> it exists. it can be voted on. >> governor of ohio. [ bell ringing ] i have to deal -- >> the emirates. [ bell ringing ] the kurds. >> a conservation -- [ bell ringing ] >> children -- [ bell ringing ] -- would be terrified. >> we should have given big chunks -- [ laughter ] >> seth: sounds less like a presidential debate and more like the lightning round on "family feud." so the moderators were pretty hands off during the main stage debate which left the candidates unfettered to make ridiculous claims, like donald trump and ben carson, who, when asked about the minimum wage, took the very reasonable tack of suggesting that wages should
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people. >> taxes too high, wages too high. we're not gonna be able to compete against the world. >> only 19.8% of black teenagers have a job. and that's because of those high wages. if you lower those wages, that comes down. >> seth: first of all, that fact carson mentioned is totally wrong. it's more like 74%, not 19% according to "politico." but to be fair to carson, he had his notes written on the inside of his eyelids so it must have been hard for him to read. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and then there was carly fiorina who spent most of her time banging the drum against big government. >> this government has been growing bigger and bigger. big government has created a big business called politics. >> seth: and if there's anyone who knows how to destroy a big
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[ audience ohs ] [ applause ] so the discussions about wages and the size of government weren't great. what about immigration? here's ted cruz arguing for more border security by comparing the u.s. to other countries. >> try going illegally to another country. try going to china or japan. >> seth: look at japan? japan's not the best example. you know what else they do in japan that we don't do? this. [ screaming ] >> seth: although, now that i think of it, that would be one way to make our debates less boring. [ laughter ] i'm sorry, senator paul, you spoke through your bell and you know what that means. get in the cube! [ laughter ] also, that's a sitcom. so with the moderators backing off, the candidates ran rampant with the facts. and that trend continued when they started talking about
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for example, here's donald trump bragging about his relationship with the russian president. >> as far as syria, i like -- if putin wants to go in -- and i got to know him very well because we were both on "60 minutes," we were stable mates. >> seth: that's right. they were stable mates. unfortunately it turns out these two prized stallions never actually met, contrary to trump's claim. because according to buzzfeed, putin was interviewed in russia while trump was interviewed in new york. [ laughter ] "but the same tv. [ laughter ] we were on the same tv." nonetheless, trump's brag left a clear opening for carly fiorina to jump in with a surefire zinger. >> i would not be talking to vladimir putin right now. although i have met him as well, not in a green room for a show but in a private meeting. >> seth: that's right, donald trump. carly fiorina sat down with vladimir putin, she didn't just run into him in some stupid green room. >> i met him in beijing. we in sort of a green room
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: if there was one candidate everybody agreed could use to unleash his inner putin, it was jeb bush, who had lacked aggression in the first three debates. early on john kasich wouldn't let the moderator move on to a question for jeb, and jeb got support from an unlikely source. >> governor, i've got a couple of things here. >> first of all -- [ talking over each other ] >> you should let jeb speak. >> seth: although it wasn't clear if trump was saying "let jeb speak" out of fairness or "yes, let jeb speak. [ laughter ] it's ever so amusing when he talks." [ laughter ] but still, trump stood up for jeb. and that gave jeb the confidence he needed later in the debate to stand up to trump. >> if putin wants to go and knock the hell out of isis, i am all for it 100%. and i can't understand how anybody would be against it.
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>> they blew up -- hold it. they blew up -- wait a minute. they blew up a russian airplane. >> seth: i'm starting to think jeb's campaign logo wasn't representing excitement about jeb but rather people telling jeb to be quiet. "jeb! not now, jeb!" [ laughter and applause ] "we will get to you!" so the end of the day it was a pretty boring debate, and the candidates' performances probably won't matter that much in the long run. but at least one news organization thought fox business did a fantastic job. and that's fox business. >> breaking news this morning. a great debate that delivered. >> it was a fantastic debate. >> a robust, substantive exchange. >> the candidates were very happy with you guys. >> neil, round of applause from everybody. >> it was very elegant. you did a really elegant job. >> seth: you know, i guess it's nice to see everybody so happy with how it turned out. but if any moderators screw up future debates, i've got an idea
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of how we could punish them. [ screaming ] >> seth: this has been "debate wrap up!" [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with adam levine! [ cheers and applause ] how you doing? hey! how are you? where are we watching the game? you'll see. i think my boys have a shot this year. yeah, especially with thisnew offense we're running... i mean, our running back is a beast. once he hits the hole and breaks through the secondary, oh he's gone. and our linebackers and dbs dish out punishment, and never quit. you didn't expect this did you? no i didn't. the nissan altima. there's a fun side to every drive. nissan.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first guest tonight is a grammy award winning artist and one of the coaches of the hit reality singing competition show "the voice." new episodes air monday nights at 8:00 p.m. and tuesday nights at 9:00 p.m. right here on nbc. please welcome adam levine. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome! [ cheers and applause ] so lovely to see you again! >> great to be here, man. i love it. >> seth: it's been a while. we -- we of course, we worked together here in this building when you -- [ cheers and applause ] this happen a lot? >> ooh, eee, ah! >> seth: it's like a flock of -- a flock of geese. >> it sounds great. >> seth: they're so happy -- the geese are so happy you're here. >> thank you, geese. >> seth: so -- you just got a bunch of new tattoos. and just explain real quick, what happened? >> okay, well, this is amazing.
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arm. and had, like, you know -- healing up, literally like hours before i saw you, and you did a bit about tattooing poisoning people. >> seth: this yeah -- this is a monologue joke. >> it was a monologue joke, yeah, and it was like, oh, man. i literally had a massive wound on my arm from the tattoo. and i was like, oh, that's a bummer timing to hear you say that. and then like the punch line of the joke was like, "in other news, adam levine in critical condition." [ laughter ] it just got -- it went from bad to worse. i'm like all right. [ laughter ] immediately regret this tattoo. >> seth: it's very rare that someone can be walking home being like, oh well he's not talking about me. and then oh, they were talking about me. [ laughter ] >> well first off, oh that's a bummer. you know, i should check out this ink i have on my arm and then adam levine punch line, i was all right. cool. >> seth: that's how -- that's how bruce willis felt at the end of "the sixth sense." what happened to you there. oh, it's about me. >> it was amazing. [ laughter ] >> seth: so -- >> he jumps out of the tv. >> seth: so congratulations. season nine of "the voice." you guys won an emmy at the last emmy's.
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[ cheers and applause ] you and blake, the constant. he's been there every season. and how is it going? how is season nine? >> hey, blake is still an idiot. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> it's so much fun. it's so fun to say mean things -- >> seth: and is it -- does it remain fun? >> oh, yeah. >> seth: your chemistry with blake has been the same. >> it's a blast. we mess around with each other so much. and people actually think it's real, which is funny. are you guys fighting? i'm like no, we're not fighting. we're like best friends. i love that dude. >> seth: because if you were fighting, he would beat you up. >> he would beat the crap -- [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, you don't think so. >> he's a big guy. >> seth: okay, slow. >> i feel like he's slow and kind of like -- [ laughter ] >> seth: sure. >> i don't know, i think i could probably take him. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> i have a little speed. i have a couple of punches before it got ugly. >> seth: and this is exciting. not just the judges feared, but rihanna, you guys have gotten to work with rihanna this year. >> she -- you love rihanna. >> seth: i'm -- i'm more fascinated with rihanna than anyone else on earth. please tell me everything. [ laughter ] i kid -- and at no point will i have too much rihanna information in my life. [ laughter ]
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>> oh, god. let me see what i can dig up for you. we actually did a song together a while back. i've known for a pretty long time. and she's still -- it got quiet when i started talking about rihanna. >> seth: everybody wants to know more about rihanna. [ cheers and applause ] >> she's honest to god, i like the coolest -- the coolest girl, and i've known her forever. and she was great on "the voice." super fun to see her again. i haven't seen her in a long time. i don't have anything that cool -- >> seth: but i met contestants -- to get to work with rihanna, on top of getting to you guys must be like an added shot. >> well it makes us feel awesome too because they don't care at all about us. >> seth: yeah. >> so it's rihanna, it's like we don't even exist. >> seth: rihanna is in the room, everybody else gets super blurry. >> understandable. understandable. >> seth: you just had a -- was it just a one-year wedding anniversary this past summer. >> yeah. >> seth: congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] so then you obviously -- your beautiful wife behati, who was on the show. you obviously because of your status, everybody sort of writes about your relationship and you had sort of a bit of a bummer on
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your one-year anniversary. >> we don't really don't ever pay attention to those things. >> seth: of course. >> but this was just funny, it was funny timing to be on our honeymoon -- sorry -- it was a one-year anniversary, we went back to and we had our honeymoon, and i got -- starting getting all this influx of texts saying "are you guys okay, what's going on?" and people also listen to this stupid stuff that they write about. like my mother. kate thinks it's all real, you know. [ laughter ] are you guys -- trouble in paradise. you know, they're miserable. i'm like, that's so mean. we're so happy. why would you do that? all these panic phone calls. [ audience aws ] stop it. [ laughter ] but it's like really -- it's really kind of a bummer. >> seth: if that happened with me and my wife, i would bring the "us weekly" and say is this coming from you? [ laughter ] did you call them? >> and then they get what they want. >> seth: just because i wanted to get up when your wine wasn't finished at dinner last night? >> and i'll be -- >> seth: did you call "us weekly?" >> exactly, "us weekly" would be like perfect. [ laughter ] >> seth: i should call -- we should do that sometime and call "us weekly" and be like, this is an unconfirmed source but seth meyers wife is being a real jerk. [ laughter ] and all his friends and even her
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friends all say it's her fault. >> and adam levine too. [ light laughter ] >> seth: and adam levine does well. and then i'll back you up if they need to confirm it. >> i know -- he's -- yeah, he's the source. that'd be so weird. >> seth: another thing that got a lot of attention, you started this season - - you shaved the old dome and -- [ laughter ] why are you reacting like that? you did it. >> i heard some like horrible screams. ah! >> seth: but this is the thing. when you do something like this, people are very -- feel very comfortable to let you know what they think. >> people have opinions about these things. and i can't believe that they do, because it seems so stupid to have such a strong reaction to it. blake really is -- he really hates it. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and, like, it's just hair. it'll grow back. but there is was this one woman i saw -- people are walking down the street think they know you, especially cause you're on a television show. >> seth: right. >> as you know, they'll think, "yeah, how you doing." >> seth: especially when you're a tv show as yourself, even more so. >> exactly. and this woman walked up to me, she's like "oh, god, you grew it back. never do that again." [ laughter ] and i'm like, all right. thanks? [ laughter ]
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[ laughter ] >> seth: i don't like -- well, i don't like your shirt! >> well, you're stupid! [ laughter ] don't be so stupid. yeah, whatever. it's just silly. >> seth: this is you actually had worked on a television show before "the voice" which i just found out today. you were a writer's assistant -- >> yes. >> seth: on the television show "judging amy." >> yes. and as you know -- [ cheers and applause ] writers -- they're so polite here. >> seth: they're very polite tonight, yeah. [ laughter ] we're talking, shut up! keep talking. talking about rihanna. >> yeah, i was. and i didn't do much, because being a writer's p.a., you guys don't know is very uneventful kind of p.a. >> seth: you bring clothes. >> you basically -- you bring coffee, you basically -- and i was not good at my job at all. it was so -- so little was required of me and i was still was very bad at it. >> seth: it's weird though, when you have -- cause this happened to me. i was an intern once. when you have not enough to do, it makes you a worse employee. because then you just start devolving in front of people. if you had stuff to do, you'd keep busy. but if not -- i would just like
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watch tv. >> well, i did a lot of that. a lot of web surfing. a lot of online shopping. >> seth: well, i do -- i was a huge "judging amy" fan and when i heard you worked on it, i thought, oh that makes sense. [ laughter ] of all -- >> it's really, yeah -- it's true. it makes perfect sense. >> seth: it's makes perfect sense. >> i would have guessed that you had been -- >> seth: there is a lot of adam levine in "judging amy." >> that's shows all me. >> seth: "90210" though, this was your big -- so this is your early band. >> kara's flowers. >> seth: kara's flowers. >> we changed the name because it was an awful name you could never pronounce. >> seth: kara -- yeah, cause i didn't know if it was kara. >> you didn't even want to try that. >> seth: yeah, i didn't. >> and we got to play the peach pit after dark on "90210" and we were 17. >> seth: gotcha. >> so, it was like the biggest deal ever. >> seth: was it your biggest deal for your friends? >> oh my god. i couldn't wait to go tell my friends that we were -- that to me at the time would be like playing a stadium. you know -- >> seth: right. >> it was nothing greater back in the day when "90210" was on, to play the peach pit. it was like a -- huge rite of passage. >> seth: now you actually do play stadiums now and you play them all over the world for an
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international fan like yourself that tours -- how different are audiences? >> super different -- it's really the coolest thing about touring is that you go to so many different countries and there's such different reactions to the music. like the first time i went to japan, it was amazing, because there are some really passionate crowds but after every song, it's like you guys. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] you guys remind me of japan, because they go yay, and then it gets super quiet. and there's these giant places so it's really kind of unnerving. >> seth: because they don't want to make noise while you're performing? >> they want to be polite because maybe i'm going to talk. or i don't know why it happens. it's just one of those things and then you go to -- you go somewhere else, and actually in the -- where did we go? everywhere, basically. but south america is the most crazy. like the most unruly, wild, amazing fans. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and the giant -- i imagine just giant crowds when you go down to south america. >> giant -- we played rockin' rio a couple years ago and ever since then we just got really big down there. and we're doing stadiums for the first time in south america which is like, such a trip. i can't believe it. >> seth: well that's awesome man. and congratulations on everything.
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congratulations for season nine "the voice." >> thank you very much. >> seth: so excited to have you here. >> thank you for having me. >> seth: so great to see you. >> right on. >> seth: adam levine everybody. [ cheers and applause ] check out "the voice" mondays at 8:00 pm and tuesdays at 9:00 pm right here on nbc. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] nvited tothanksgiving at the anderson's. i was stoked. that's my holiday. we invented it. so i'm like, "pass the stuffing!" and... it's not stove top. and i'm like, "what?" i wait all year. 364 days to enjoy delicious stove top stuffing. it's what makes thanksgiving, thanksgiving. i had to get out of there. i faked an attack of scurvy. scurvy. works every time. come on, wake up!!! come on, why ya sleepin'? come on! >>what time is it? it's go time. >>come on. let's go, let's go, let's go.
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i feel like i went to bed an hour ago. >>i'll make the cocoa. get a great offer on the car of your grown-up dreams at the mercedes-benz winter event. it's the look on their faces that makes it all worthwhile. but, hurry, these offers endsoon. thank you santa!!! a new world hangs outside the window beautiful and strange it must be falling away
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night" everybody. please give it up for the 8g band. how are ya fellows? [ cheers and applause ] good to see you all also, sitting in on drum with the 8g band all week, from arcade fire jeremy gara everbody. [ cheers and applause ] always a pleasure to have you. as always. our next guest tonight is a chef, a best-selling author and reality television star you know from "the real housewives of new york." she's also the founder and ceo of skinny girl. please welcome to the show, bethenny frankel! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hi, how are you? >> i'm so great. you're doing such a great job. >> seth: thank you so much.
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that's very nice to hear that from you. i have nothing but respect for you amd so that means a lot to me. >> thank you. you're just fun and real. and we were both at a nbc event recently. and it was one of things where they asked us to schmooze people. i said to you -- you said, oh, you're here, too. and you said, yeah they've been so good to me that when i'm asked to do something of course i'm gonna give back. >> seth: you gotta show up. >> yeah. >> seth: glad we both feel that way. >> totally. >> seth: i want to wish you a belated happy birthday. you had birthday at the beginning of this month. >> i did. >> seth: but you share your birthday a couple of people. p. diddy. mcconaughey. and you tweeted to them a very interesting pass you tweeted them about the hall pass idea because you share a birthday. >> a suggestion. i said, don't you think if somebody else if diddy or matthew mcconaughey, if you're a woman, has your birthday that they should get a hall pass to sleep with you? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: it's your birthday hall pass. >> whenever you see somebody who has the same birthday oh, my god, me too. so it's a big deal. >> seth: now here i have a question though. is the hall pass only valid on the birthday?
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>> i think you should give like a credit like a store credit. you can't use it maybe like 90 day or something. >> seth: gotcha. you know what i mean? >> seth: right. i don't know if i'm going to get a 90 days from my wife. i think i'm going to get a smaller window. maybe like a 30 day window. >> alright, 30 days. >> seth: i have some good ones, too. sienna miller, maggie smith. gayle king. some good ones. >> maggie smith from "downton abbey"? >> seth: from "downton abbey" because every face maggie smith makes on "downton abbey" are faces women have made after they've had sex with me. [ laughter and cheers ] >> if you're like me, your age window -- my window is 19 to 90. so she's right in there. >> seth: that's really good. that's your type? >> when people ask me who to be set up with i say, just keep it from 19 to 90. >> seth: there you go, that's very good. a lot of people know you from your skinny girl brands, they know it for the vodkas to the tequilas. the margaritas, i should say. but there's so many things in the skinny girl world now. >> skinny girl brand has grown.
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we started with the ready to drink margaritas. we have wines. and now we have everything from microwave popcorn to salad dressings. and i recently launched skinny girl protein bars and shakes. and the shakes have 80 calories for a big chocolate shake. >> seth: did you do a lot of testing with your name on it? with the skinny girl name? >> every single product, every single tag line, flavor, i am completely involved. >> seth: when you're testing your shake are there like steps along the way where you say no this is -- >> absolutely. >> seth: okay. >> absolutely. i'm difficult in that. in other ways but in that way it has to taste good. [ laughter ] because, i mean, and it has to taste good for the whole entire drink. >> seth: gotcha. >> a lot of times you taste something the first sip is good. after i drink a whole bottle of skinny girl vodka or wine i still like it. >> seth: okay, that's good. [ laughter ] >> it's still good. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that i would say is not a great bar. after a bottle of vodka i like everything. [ laughter ] >> well, you should come work -- the girls who work for me. it's their job to drink alcohol in the morning. i'm like listen it's your job. you have to taste this.
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>> seth: my mornings are pretty open. i would love to get over there. [ laughter ] >> seth: now someone else who is a frequent guest on the show who's another brand builder, martha stewart, you were on her apprentice in 2005. >> yes. >> seth: are you guys friends? >> she doesn't like me. >> seth: okay. >> she never really has. >> seth: she never liked you. >> she's consistent. she never has. we had a moment where we were going to do something in tv recently together. and it's kind of -- she's always been like a parent that i always tried to get them to like love me. but i gave up on that a couple of years ago and i had my own show. and yeah, she just never misses the opportunity to say something negative about me or my products. so i think she should be a housewife. >> seth: oh, like on "the real housewives." >> she could get paid to rip me. you know what i mean? that's good for drama. >> seth: when you're mentioning the housewives, you were back for season seven. >> yes. >> seth: and now season eight coming up there's a negotiation with the housewives. >> i love like its g.e. buying
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the big housewives negotiation. there is a negotiation. i think we're all replaceable. in the very beginning when i started we had a little clout because it was such a big deal. you can find crazy people. but go to any mall in america. you could find some crazy bitches. you know what i mean? [ cheers and applause ] so i feel like, you can only negotiate so far. i negotiate all day long in my other businesses. so i think that all the other women just think like, they can't do the show without me and they kind of end up -- >> seth: and they're fine, right? >> well they end up having to do whatever bravo wants them to because they all need it. >> seth: you first got involved because of your product, is that right? >> i mean, i was a natural foods chef. and i was writing my book "naturally thin." i don't think i'd had the idea for the cocktail. but i knew -- i had a platform. i thought it was a great way to get it out there. and it has been amazing. if you use it wisely it's great. any form of television. what are you selling right now? >> seth: what am i selling? >> yeah, what are you hocking? >> seth: i have it's called fat dude margaritas. [ laughter ] >> you do?
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awesome. >> seth: they have ham in it. >> we could go on tour together. >> seth: it would be great. >> we're going to hit the whole entire audience. >> seth: i mean why don't we just cover everything? because skinny girls love fat dudes. [ laughter ] >> if they're really rich. >> seth: if they're really rich. >> if you're doing a good job you should be. >> seth: there's fat dude margaritas and there's money in it. >> yes. >> seth: it's really nice for you to inspire your fans. because there are times where you will ask for something back from your fans. you were recently in tampa. >> oh, my gosh. >> seth: i can't believe you actually did this. tell this story real quick. >> i just think that some people think that my life is glamorous. and i'm successful and it's great and i have a wonderful place to live. but we were in tampa. i was there with perry and mark, agents of mine, we were doing a business meeting there. and i guess we lost track of the time. we were having lunch at capital grill. and all of a sudden i saw my agent start sweating. and he's like, oh my god, the car's not showing up. it's raining. i thought it was going to be in a second. i said you guys figure this out. i gotta get a piece of cheesecake. which no one would believe i would do. but i did go into cheesecake factory to get a piece of cheesecake. >> seth: that's the best place for it.
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>> the best. the red velvet cheesecake. i digress. it's a factory. they know. >> seth: cut out the middle man. you go straight to the factory. >> exactly, exactly, yes. so a woman named jenee i now know said to me you know what i like about you? you're the same on tv as you are in real life. i love you getting that cheesecake. i said oh, god yes, nice to meet you. she's like can i get a picture? yes but can you get as you ride to the airport? she said i only have a two seater car and i was with two. one was 6'5" and 6'2" man. no i can't i wish i could. i'm like oh, no, you have to give us a ride. we're going to miss the plane. so we jammed into her little two-seater car. >> seth: this is a photo you actually posted. so there you guys are -- >> here's me, i look like a grasshopper. so jenee is a political consultant and she's voting for hillary. it was the night before the debate so she told me. >> seth: okay, that's great. and so she drove you all the way to the tampa airport? >> yes. >> seth: you know what i like about that? it will maybe make people think twice about asking celebrities for photos. [ laughter ] >> absolutely. >> seth: here's my picture with bethenny frankel. they'll be like, was it worth it?
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eh. >> right, everybody can relate to just when you need to get to the airport you'll whatever it takes. >> seth: absolutely. no one, i will tell you this. no one watching can relate to asking for a ride from a stranger to the airport. we can relate to not getting to the airport. >> you can? >> seth: i've never been like i'm not going to make it. excuse me, sir, you have to drive me to the airport. [ laughter ] >> i would ask for anything. >> seth: i believe that. i'm just saying -- >> wait. [ laughter ] i have to say this. i'm that person that if someone next to me gets a giant plate of french fries or something because it's one french fry or pizza, i don't understand why they don't offer me some. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> i really don't. it's so big and it looks so good. why do i have to order my own? they're gigantic. you're never going to finish them. so then you want to become friends so they give you some. >> seth: gotcha. so i guess the way to your heart is just giving you [ bleep ]. >> yes! [ laughter ] or i'll take it. >> seth: yeah, or you'll just take it. bethenny frankel, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] look for skinny girls protein bars and shakes in stores now. we'll be right back with more "late night."
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to different jobs... to community college... all that hard work, it matters. it's why we, at university of phoenix, count your relevant work andcollege experience as credits toward your degree. learn more at phoenix.edu. (exec 1) well, directv beatus in customer satisfactionagain for the 15th year in a row. but we have a plan. (exec 2) when our customers are on hold, let's up their satisfaction with some new hold music. (exec 2) that's glenn from the mailroom. he djs on the weekends. (exec 3) sorry, who is it? (exec 2) it's glenn, from the mailroom. he dj'ed bill's wedding. (exec 3) he what? (exec 2) he goes by dj glenn, he works way downstairs. (exec 3) what'd he say? (exec 2) glenn, from the mailroom! (vo) get rid of cable. and upgrade to directv. call 1-800-directv. the beam family has a long historyof doing things their own way. they age every drop of jim beam twice as long as the law requires.
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i'll be back for this one.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. here on "late night" we make sure to keep up-to-date with the very latest in news and politics. not by watching the news, and not by reading the paper. in fact, i get all of my information the good old-fashioned way from my informant, which brings to us a segment we call "classified information."
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the bald eagle flies at sundown. >> come morning he's regained all of his hair. are you here for information? >> seth: yes. you must be the jackal. >> it's pronounced jacle. >> seth: jacle. [ light laughter ] >> it's a family name. >> seth: what information do you have for me? hillary clinton. classified information on her could ruin her shot at the presidency. >> hillary clinton announced that her campaign is launching a new outreach program called latinos for hillary. >> seth: everybody knows that. >> but what you don't know is the origin of the name. look in the file. >> seth: latinos for hillary is what hillary shouts after a few white zinfandels at the male strip club. scandal! [ laughter ] >> if you think that's bad you'll never believe this. >> seth: nbc! >> following donald trump's appearance on "snl" nbc now has
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to give the rest of the presidential candidates air time. >> seth: that's insane. >> and you'll never guess how they're doing it. >> seth: nbc has already approached jeb bush about being on "the biggest loser." [ laughter ] i'm shocked! >> if that shocks you you'd better hold onto your pants because it gets even crazier. >> seth: it did shock me, that's why i said i'm shocked. >> that's why i said hold onto your pants. >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] the video game industry? >> video surfaced this week of a man in an electronics store masturbating in front of a playstation 4. and the details are unbelievable. >> seth: the man who was masturbating in front of a playstation made a shocking admission. he just loves to play with his wii. [ laughter ] i'm appalled! [ applause ] >> how about this one? [ laughter ]
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yes, all right. >> seth: roman polanski? >> poland has refused to send roman polanski to america to face sexual assault charges, but there's more to the story. >> seth: and now bill cosby is claiming his real name is bill cozlowski. [ applause ] the horror! >> that's right. i don't think you understand how loud you're being. >> seth: oh. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: ihop! [ laughter ] >> a giant sink hole opened up in the parking lot of a mississippi ihop this weekend. it caused 12 cars to fall into it. but you won't believe what ihop did next. >> seth: they decided to just leave the hole and reopen as a waffle house! [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm sorry.
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>> seth: how could they? >> all right, i've got one last one for you. >> seth: the new york taxi drivers association? >> you got to look at it to read it. [ laughter ] >> seth: trying to decide if looking at the cue card ruins the fact that i'm supposed to read the file. >> i know. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh! the first time i've seen it! [ laughter ] >> now you're selling it. >> seth: the new york taxi drivers association? taking them down would change the new york transportation as we know it. >> well, a new york cab driver may have his license revoked for allegedly flashing, groping and verbally harassing a customer. and what he did next is even more heinous. >> seth: my god! he tried taking them through times square! [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: that sick pervert! >> that's all the information i have for now.
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>> seth: we'll be right back with music from alessia cara. [ cheers and applause ] two million, four hundred thirty-four thousand, three hundred eleven people in this city. and only one me. i'll take those odds.
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innovative sonicare technology with up to 27% more brushmovements versus oral b. get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. innovation and you. philips sonicare save when you buy the most loved rechargeable toothbrush brand in america. with my moderate tosevere ulcerative colitis,the possibility of a flarewas almost always on my mind. thinking about what to avoid, where to go... and how to deal with my uc. to me, that was normal. until i talked to my doctor. she told me that humira helps people like me get uc under control and keep it under control when certain medications haven't worked well enough. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb,
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hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humiraif you have an infection. raise your expectations. ask your gastroenterologist about humira.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my next guest is a 19-year-old music sensation whose hit single is currently flying up the charts. she releases her debut album "know it all" this friday. performing "here" please welcome to the show alessia cara. [ cheers and applause ] i guess right now you've got the last laugh i'm sorry if i seem uninterested or i'm not listenin or i'm indifferent truly i ain't got
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but since my friends are here i just came to kick it but really i would rather be at home all by myself not in this room with people who don't even care about my well-being i don't dance don't ask i don't need a boyfriend so you can go back please enjoy your party i'll be here somewhere in the corner under clouds of marijuana with this boy who's hollering i can hardly hear over this music i don't listen to and i don't wanna get with you so tell my friends that i'll be over here oh oh oh here oh oh oh here oh oh oh i ask myself what am i doing here oh oh oh here oh oh oh here and i can't wait till we can break up outta here excuse me if i seem a little unimpressed with this an anti-social pessimist but usually i don't mess with this and i know you
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mean only the best and your intentions aren't to bother me but honestly i'd rather be somewhere with my people we can kick it and just listen to some music with the message like we usually do and we'll discuss our big dreams how we plan to take over the planet so pardon my manners i hope you'll understand that i'll be here not there in the kitchen with the girl who's always gossiping about her friends so tell them i'll be here right next to the boy who's throwing up cause he can't take what's in his cup no more oh god why am i here oh oh oh here oh oh oh here oh oh oh i ask myself what am i doing here oh oh oh here oh oh oh here and i can't wait till we can break up outta here hours later congregating next to the refrigerator some girl's talking bout her haters she ain't got none
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how did it ever come to this i should have never come to this so holla at me i'll be in the car when you're done i'm standoffish don't want what you're offering and i'm done talking awfully sad it had to be that way so tell my people when they're ready that i'm ready and i'm standing by the tv with my beanie low yo i'll be over here oh oh oh here oh oh oh here oh oh oh i ask myself what am i doing here oh oh oh here oh oh oh here and i can't wait till we can break up outta here so ready then i'm ready and if that is ready then i'm ready yeah yeah he's so ready then i'm ready yeah [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: alessia cara! download "here" and preorder
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"know it all."
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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to adam levine, bethenny frankel, alessia cara. jeremy gara and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you again tomorrow.
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